


Salvatore.

by reidbyers



Series: Honeymoon Series. [10]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1950s, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 16:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12236280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reidbyers/pseuds/reidbyers
Summary: Spencer knew he should stay away from you, that if he got close he would be caught up in your web once more and it would hurt even more than the last time when he tried to get out. He knew this, knew the hurt he would cause himself and yet he still desperately wanted to see you again.





	Salvatore.

Two weeks went by faster than Spencer could have ever expected, it felt like he had been walking within some kind of dream where time didn’t really exist and instead everything happened in the time it took for someone to click their fingers. One minute he was sat in his apartment looking at the newly delivered flowers from you and the next he was walking out of the office with JJ and Emily by his side, your movie premiere that evening and he was yet to decide whether or not he was going. Deep down he knew it would cause more trouble than it was probably worth, you would bat your eyelashes and he would fall under your spell for a few days until you kindly reminded him that you weren’t like him and just like that, the spell was broken - only to be recast when he saw you next. It wasn’t healthy, that was what it came down to and Spencer knew he should be looking after himself.

But he wanted to see you, he felt it deep down in his chest like he’d never felt anything before and he couldn’t deny that ache. It was like somewhere deep in his bones, in his DNA something was telling him to get back to you, to see you and touch you again or else he would just waste away. It made him feel stupid, to be so beaten down by his own emotions when they were just chemicals flooding his brain making him think all this romantic nonsense. He was living fine without you, and you were doing fine without him. His bones weren’t going to waste away because he didn’t see your damn movie, he would continue to live and walk and talk and he kept reminding himself of that.

When he got home the first thing he did was slip off his shoes, tucking them onto the shoe rack and then take off his coat. His apartment was cold due to being empty all day and so after he had rid himself of all his extra clothing, he wandered over to the fireplace and begun to fiddle around with it, there was still wood in there so it didn’t take long to get it lit. Spencer prefered to have the fireplace lit than to have all the lights on in the apartment, he prefered the atmosphere it gave and it was going to warm up everything. He stood there for a few minutes waiting for things to warm up before his stomach growled, he hadn’t eaten in hours and there were leftovers still in his fridge from the night before which were calling his name so Spencer padded over to his kitchen in his woolen mismatched socks.

The ticket you had gifted to him stayed stuck to the front of the fridge, part of him wanted to throw it away but that was still final and while he was upset with you over how you had treated him, there was a smaller part of him that still wanted the option to decide whether or not he went. Every morning he saw it and felt his heart hurt just a little at the thought of you, it was certainly not the only time during the day he thought about you but it was always one of the first things that popped into his mind. Sometimes it made his day better and other days it made it worse, it was the same thing you did when you were actually around.

Instead of opening up the fridge and continuing on with day, Spencer stayed stood there looking at the small ticket while his brain continued with the ongoing argument as to why he was still even considering going. He didn’t doubt for even a second that if he were to go then you would attempt to drape yourself over him again, go on and on with that voice like silk about how you were sorry for how you had hurt him and how you were willing to change. Why would you change now though, you were at that point in your life that you had been searching for and now you didn’t need him to fill up that gap. He’d read one day in the newspapers that you’d found yourself a nice husband who was also an actor and would go on to have a few kids, Spencer would still be sat in his lonesome dark apartment still trying to get people to take his work seriously and eventually people would come searching for him for an exclusive on the relationship you had shared and he would say no.

He reached out and tugged the ticket off of the fridge gently and held it between his thumb and pointer finger, there were still two hours before the premiere started which meant he still had two hours to decide. It was then that he came to the realisation that if he had been arguing with himself the whole of two weeks as to whether or not he should go, there was a strong part of him that wanted to and did not care about all the reasons he shouldn’t. It wasn’t like only bad things had happened between the two of you, he could still hear your soft voice in his ear as you shared secrets and stories in that motel bedroom and the feeling of your fingertips tracing his jaw before you kissed him. The thought of your lips against him was like a ghost, he swore he could feel it on the loneliest of nights.

Deep down he’d already known the answer to his debacle, he’d already answered it with his own argument. Every time when he shouldn’t, he found himself returning to you with open arms so why would now be any different? He felt that tug towards you even though he could tell himself it wasn’t real and he now couldn’t help but wonder if you felt it too, if that was the reason you’d sent him the flowers and the ticket; because you needed to feel him close again. Before you Spencer would have never bothered with this romantic, cliche theories yet now he was obsessing over the meanings of flowers and clutching Polaroid photos of you in his hands and wishing he had the real thing.

Spencer sighed and rested his head against the fridge, cooling down his otherwise racing head. He already knew what he was now convinced into doing but he wasn’t happy about it, if he went he was going to go begrudgingly and certainly not just jump into your arms at the sight of you. If he was going to do this then he was going to do it his way, which meant dragging his heels the entire time. He let out another long drawn out sigh before standing up straight and heading towards the bathroom with the intentions of having a shower, hoping the warm water would cheer him up and wash away his stress.

An hour later he was standing in his kitchen all dressed up, black suit and tie and his hair neater than it had been the whole weak. He felt somewhat petty shaving with the knowledge that you liked him with some stubble playing in the back of his mind but did it anyways, reminding himself that it didn’t matter what you liked when you weren’t his girlfriend. Spencer thought about that fight more than he cared to admit, thinking over and over whether you didn’t want to be his girlfriend because of your own issues or because you just didn’t want him as your boyfriend. Maybe he could ask you upon his arrival, telling himself that the reason he felt that tug towards you was because he wanted answers to all his questions.

He shoved the ticket into the pocket of his blazer and unenthusiastically walked towards the door, unsure of how he was going to get the venue when there wasn’t many other options apart from walking and it was now pouring down with rain but he realised he had just answered his question. Spencer looked both ways once he was out of his apartment building, rain pounding down against the pavement and the people on the streets which he soon braved as well as he stood out onto the street and made a sharp left. He tucked his hands into his pockets and kept his head down, his already somewhat damp curls taking the full brunt of the rain pouring down on him.

He didn’t know how long he walked for but eventually he spotted the fluorescent lights of the movie theatre and he knew he was on the right track. It was strange to see your name up in lights, he didn’t know why it felt strange when he’d seen more of you in newspapers and such but Spencer quickly realised that he was actually feeling pride. Unless you did something about it there was no way he wasn’t going to stop being upset with you but even he could put his feelings aside for one second and acknowledge that this your dream and it was amazing to see that you had accomplished a huge step. He was proud, there was no denying that.

By the time he had arrived, the majority of the crowd outside had dispersed and the people who had tickets had gone inside. The paparazzi would be back later to get photographs of the stars leaving but for now it was reasonably quiet. It made it easier to get to the ticket booth and not stand out in the rain, worried that one of the passing taxis would splash him with one of the growing puddles if he didn’t hurry inside. Spencer was already soaked so it wouldn’t have really mattered, it was more so him just trying to avoid an awkward situation. He wondered how you had taken to the rain, knowing you much preferred the sun as you worried the rain would ruin your hair and but you in an all over bad mood, someone must have been holding an umbrella for you as you posed for pictures and undoubtedly flirted with your co star.

Spencer couldn’t say he was surprised that the whole place was packed, going to the movies on date nights was becoming an even bigger thing and there were plenty of men out there who wanted to impress their ladies by taking them out to this big and fancy movie premiere, probably bragging about how they know one of the actors or someone behind the scenes when they didn’t actually. There were film critics and other celebrities, actors from the movie and then everyone who had worked on it but no matter how hard he looked he could not see you. He bit his lip and walked walked towards one of the few empty seats he could find, it was at the end of one of the rows beside a woman and her boyfriend, he could tell this from their hands which were intertwined tightly. He didn’t notice it until he had sat down and settled but they had recognised him, from the newspapers and countless gossiping around the streets.

He tried to pay attention to the movie as it played, once the director stopped going on and on about what a pleasure it was to work with his actors and crew and how he was glad to get to tell this story. Spencer knew the premise of the story and some details thanks to you telling him but now that he was sat in this uncomfortable seat and people around him were whispering, he began questioning more and more why he had choose to come. By the looks of things, you weren’t even there by the looks of things and he wasn’t sure whether or not he should be happy about that. It meant that there would be no awkward encounter and he couldn’t be persuaded somehow to come back to you. When the film started to play finally Spencer forced himself to push his thoughts to the back of his head, hoping that he could enjoy it as a piece of media separate from you.

You fit perfectly into the role, femme fatale out to assassinate a rich businessman for his money, you played both the woman hungry for money and power without any remorse and at the same time desperate for love and the feeling of being wanted by a man. It was cheesy and the writing could use definite work in Spencer’s eyes but for your first onscreen role it seemed perfect. He hated himself for thinking so but he couldn’t stop thinking about how gorgeous you looked, your hair straight which was a change to the usual curls he saw you wearing and lips painted cherry red, outfits raging from silk black robes with lingerie underneath while getting ready to seduce then white polka dots covering a comfortable day dress as you ran away with your now lover. No matter how he tried, Spencer just couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, always drifting your way in a group scene and becoming slightly bored when you weren’t there.

The film wasn’t long, an hour and a half at tops and somehow it felt like it was over in the time it took Spencer to blink and also felt like he had been sat there forever. When the movie was over, everyone began to clap and chat amongst themselves, the more important of people began to get up as they had an after party to get to and Spencer found himself awkwardly sat in his seat. He was unsure of what he should do, just get up and leave or go seek you out? You had written in your little card to him along with the flowers that you wanted to see him, but here you were nowhere in sight and Spencer wasn’t going to wait around all night.

“Are you Spencer Reid?” A strange voice said and Spencer looked up, a woman stood there in a black and white dress that went down to her knees and had large rectangular glasses she pushed up her nose around five times in the brief time she and Spencer spoke. At first he was hesitant to answer as he wasn’t sure what she wanted but she seemed normal enough so he put on a small smile and stood up from his seat, cringing slightly at the ache in both his back and his legs from being positioned weirdly. Before he could reply, the woman next to him coughed to let him know she was trying to get through, Spencer practically tripped over himself to get out of her and her boyfriend’s ways. It was only once they were both stood out of the way that he finally could answer her question, preparing himself for what his answer would bring on.

“Yes…” Spencer said slowly and awkwardly swung his hands by his sides, wanting nothing more than to fiddle with his fingers but trying to resist the urge. He didn’t know what to expect, the best scenario oddly enough would be if this woman came to talk to him due to something about his work, the worst would be her trying to get information about the mess of a relationship he shared with you to which he would apologize to her before walking away as he wasn’t in the mood to recall everything to a stranger. She was there to speak about you, just not in the way he was expecting.

“I was told to come get you, apparently (Y/N) (L/N) is looking for you?” She sounded confused by her own words, she had just been told by someone else to look out for Spencer and of course she had kept up with the news when it was big, he was handsome and had a bit of his own unique style in comparison to the other men around him so it wasn’t difficult to spot him. At the sound of your name Spencer felt his heartbeat begin to pick up, even more so now that he knew that he was going to see you again after months of no contact. He felt like a fan, a disgruntled one at that as he didn’t know one hundred percent if he wanted to see you but once again, his heart trumped his brain and he just nodded and let the woman lead him out of the theatre, into the back where people were now gathered with champagne glasses and a smell of expensive taste prominent in the air. She was clearly looking for someone and when she saw him Spencer watched her hurry over to him, leaving him standing awkwardly on the edge of the room.

After spending time with you, it was almost like he gained the ability to sense when a camera was nearby because something in his head told him to look to his left and he saw a man walking in, camera armed and ready. Spencer was stood out of the way so he wasn’t seen but he didn’t want to take that chance, he’d already made a big deal at work about the fact he wasn’t going to see you again so if his face once again popped up in the paper then he worried that his team might not think he was reliable. He couldn’t stand there forever and wait for you, you weren’t there and he wasn’t going to be the lost puppy waiting for you to return to him. By the time the woman began to walk back to Spencer with news of where you were, he was gone.

There was an alley beside the theatre and it was going to be gross and dirty no doubt but it was a better option than having to fight his way out of the crowd outside. Spencer cringed as he opened the door and the air hit his face, no longer cold but now almost humid and with the rain still coming down even if it wasn’t nearly as hard, he didn’t particularly want to go out there. But he didn’t have a choice so he bit back his own annoyance and stepped outside, directly into a puddle which he proceeded to hop out of, it was then he started to smell the familiar scent of cigarette smoke.

“Spencer?” The club next door was covered in neon lights that by default shined into the alley, the puddles of rain water reflecting blues and greens, ruby as well. It felt like he had walked into a dream again, if it wasn’t for the slight shock he got whenever the rain was particularly cold on his face or dripped down the collar of his shirt and tickled his back then he might have thought it was one. Slowly, he turned around to face you. There you stood wrapped up in a coat that was not your own, it was too large swallowed up your body, covering up the expensive dress you had been put into for the premiere. A cigarette was held delicately within your fingers, hair curled in curls tighter than usual and the lashes Spencer knew all too well for fluttering whenever you wanted something were attenuated with false ones.

You had expected today to be the best day of your life, all you’d ever wanted was to have that fame and attention, everyone’s eyes on you so you could for once in your life feel special but nothing felt right. This was meant to be your night and yet you had your mind on Spencer the whole time, that wasn’t a new thing because you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since you’d said goodbye to one another but ever since you sent those flowers to him the possibility of seeing him again consumed your every thought. This wasn’t meant to happen, you never expected to be so lovesick over a man you just were playing with to begin with but you stood surrounded by cameras and people yelling your name and yet the only name you cared about was his.

Spencer smiled sadly at the sight of you, sad because he could already feel himself being drawn towards you like he had so badly been trying to fight. Maybe it was silly to think he could ever say away, he started to feel his head being cleared of the fog that had been clouding it and he hated that. He wanted so badly to be that strong man who didn’t need the love of a woman, one who had used him for her own enjoyment but backed away when things got too much. But here he was, his breath getting stuck in his throat when you took a few steps forward to embrace him in a hug, the soft sound of jazz from the club next door drifting into the alley.

“You were beautiful.” Spencer mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, raising up onto your toes as while you had heels on you still remained shorter than him. It felt like being home, the sweet smell of your perfume and mixture of the bitterness of the cigarette smoke was oddly comforting, he couldn’t resist any longer and his arms went around your waist, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You were standing in the least romantic of all places yet it still felt incredibly heartfelt, maybe he was just in a romantic film after watching that movie but whatever the reason was it was making it difficult to think rationally. “Should you not be out there, people must be waiting for you?”

“I don’t want to see them.” You mumbled, clinging to Spencer as if nothing had ever went wrong. Eventually though you felt him moving away and you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable so you too backed up, taking the time to study his beautiful face as Spencer processed what you had said. You knew he was going to be confused, especially since it felt like all you talked about was wanting to be a household name, yet here you were actively avoiding the people who could make that dream a reality. It didn’t feel right anymore, you couldn’t pinpoint why but instead of filling you with joy the thought of being surrounded by people just didn’t have the same effect anymore.

“Why not?” Spencer said with furrowed eyebrows, wondering if perhaps something had happened between you and someone you worked with that had took you off the rails from your dreams. He could understand easily as to why he didn’t want that life but you, you had seemed so sure. He remained to be upset with you over everything that happened but he couldn’t put his worry for you aside, that just wasn’t possible. You stayed quiet for a little longer, taking another drag of your cigarette before dropping it onto the ground and crushing it between your heel, blowing the smoke slowly out between red coloured lips.

“I want to get ice cream.” You said seemingly out of the blue, the whole day you hadn’t eaten due to nerves and partly to fit into your dress better but now your cravings were coming back. You weren’t sure why it was ice cream that came to mind but all you could think about now was a bowl of soft vanilla ice cream, sharing it with Spencer of course but that made it taste all the better for some reason. “Do you want to come with me?”

Spencer knew he should say no, say that he would go get someone for you and then go home himself but he couldn’t. He was about to do exactly what he had feared and yet he didn’t care, here you were lonely in the rain asking him to stay with you and no matter how badly he wanted to, there was nothing he could do to make him say no to that offer. It was just like the day you met, sneaking away from a movie premiere to go get a sweet treat only this time Spencer knew what he was walking into.


End file.
